According to Rahel Levin Varnhagen (1771–1833), anyone who wanted to be close to a friend or partner despite a long-distance relationship had a lot of work to do. When writing letters or billets, they had to take into account the inadequacies of language and the difficulties of carrying on a written conversation over both spatial and temporal distance. In addition, they had to know the other person as well as — if not better than — themselves. Levin Varnhagen met the challenges of maintaining an intimate relationship despite physical distance in a radical way by relying on ongoing intellectual exchange, passionate critiques of language, and unsparing honesty in her correspondence. Those who accepted these strategies could win her trust and even her love. Her extensive correspondence and notebooks illustrate her lifelong engagement with the conditions, demands and meanings of a perfect intimate relationship.